just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
