My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
