I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
