My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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