So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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