So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
