MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
