I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
