Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
