You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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