It's Friday. Sex?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
