Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
