drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
