pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
