I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
