Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
