It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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