bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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