The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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