For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
