bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
