You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
