My pussy is not your playground.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Let's get the cat blown out
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
