Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
