she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
