Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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