i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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