I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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