i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
