No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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