Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
