the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
