I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
