I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize