What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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