Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
