Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
