pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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