Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
