Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
