Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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