Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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