Jerry, you need to find god
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
