she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
