how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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