After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
