He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
