yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
