I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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