i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
