You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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