Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize