it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
