Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
