Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
