I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
