He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize