PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
