If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
