I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
