so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
as a side note pls kill me
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
