How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She bit a glass in half.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
